Offices: A Wordsmithing Problem


The issue of offices came up in the context of our study of holiness.

My original presentation a few years ago said we needed to sanctify time, land, stuff and people in that order since that was the Scriptural order.  Then I found I had been careless in my research and people were actually sanctified before stuff.

Before the Exodus and again before giving the Ten Commandments, the people of Israel were ordered to sanctify themselves.  It was only later that we have the Tabernacle and all its utensils (stuff) sanctified.

So my sequence for pursuing holiness became cleansing time, land, people and then stuff.

Then we discovered that the office of priest was sanctified.  That opened up a huge new field of discussion as we explored holiness in the context of offices.

I think of the civil offices.  For 40 years we have been electing fine upstanding Christians to office only to have them get a radical lobotomy the day after they are sworn in.  Now I think I understand why.

Let’s take a theoretical elected office that is 200 years old.  All sorts of good and bad people have held that office.  Today, the office has the accumulated defilement of all the bad people who did all the bad things to it, plus all the anointing of all the good people who did good things.

Since we never cleansed the office, when the godly elected official was sworn in, he or she immediately became sheep dipped in the collective defilement of the past history.  No wonder . . .

At present we have five items in the order of sanctification:  time, land, people, stuff, offices.  I suspect there may be more that will emerge over time, so this subject is still open.

As I looked at the topic of offices, it became messy in a hurry.  Clearly prophet, priest and king were Old Testament offices.  The fivefold seem to be New Testament offices.

But what about judge, patriarch, seer, chief musician or gatekeeper?  Are those offices in the same way that we consider the first three to be offices?

I don’t know.  What constitutes an office, and what is merely a job description?  We don’t have parameters to measure them yet.  In our pursuit of understanding how to sanctify an office, we have a lot of studying to do.

But we started by trying to wrap our arms around the “So what?” question.  What does it look like on Monday morning for the ever famous Fred and Sally Jones in East Overshoe, Iowa?

Suddenly the few gray areas became a virtual swamp of unexpected possibilities.  It began when I was chatting with an adult male who has some strange dynamics in his life.  We poked around for a while and finally came up with the unusual conclusion that he had never been in the office of son.  Although he had a father present in his life, he was clearly marginalized compared to his siblings and not allowed the privileges of being a son.

So tentatively we added the office of son to the list, although it felt as though “office” might not be the right word, or if it was, there needed to be a subset.

Then I ran into a real dilemma.  One person described never being certain she deserved to exist.  She felt she ought to apologize for breathing the air, for taking up space, for simply being.

I knew she had a rough pregnancy, so I began to wonder, “is there such a thing as the ‘office’ of personhood, and this lady had never been allowed to be in that office?”

I still don’t know whether we have the right term or not when we call the following things an “office.”  What I do feel strongly about is that it is normative to go through these categories, and if we don’t it has implications for our adult interpersonal relationships.

The list I see now, subject to revision, is:  person, son, daughter, adult, man, woman, husband, wife, grandparent.

Now here is the rub.  It appears to me that if you miss the office of son or daughter, it blocks you from the office of man or woman.  You go from being a child to being an adult.  As an adult, you bring value to the society, you can be celebrated for your achievements, you can have friends, make money, own a house, and all those other things but never be recognized as a man or a woman.

Bringing that down to where the rubber meets the road, there are two specific applications for females.  If you become an adult without becoming a woman because you were never a daughter, you are quite likely to end up in one of two problem situations.

The first is that you remain single and are not sought out by men.  These are the women who never get asked out on a date.  They are simply not seen as women, they are seen as highly competent, desirable work mates, but not as female adults.

Worse is when such an adult who is not a woman does marry.  They are the ones who never feel respected and honored by their husband as equal partners in the marriage.  Rather, they feel used as a mere child bearer, dish washer and income earner.

It is in that context that I want to explore the subject of what it means for a girl child to be a full fledged daughter.  And specifically, if you were not raised as a daughter, what can you do as an adult female to become an adult woman who is treasured as a women.

I don’t have rock solid answers for you since this is a half baked potato.  But I think there is enough grist in the mill for us to take an initial swipe at developing some healing steps for this very prevalent problem.

I may not get the next article written right away since I am a few days out from being home, but it will come.  Pray into this series because I think we will plow some deep ground.

Copyright September 2011 by Arthur Burk

Overlooking a sea of neon signs

This entry was posted in Daughters, Inner Healing, Spiritual Growth. Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to Offices: A Wordsmithing Problem

  1. Katura says:

    I am a late comer to this discussion, but just in case anyone reading doesn’t know, there is an amazing resource that ties a lot of this discussion together. On the free audio tab is a set called Brides Prayers, addressing the unusual numbers of single women and men in this generation (me, too) . Until I read this post, the title didn’t even begin to describe the most meticulous re-working that God can do of our whole uneven and traumatic development.

    Of course!–you can’t fully become a bride if you don’t have a right to exist as a person, or be a girl child, or claim your womanhood in all that God intended. Since our God is outside of time, these prayers cleanse the layers of wounds starting from the parents ideas of their own gender and marriage, conception, the first cell division, throughout every month of pregnancy, and then every major milestone of life.

    Thank you Arthur for being so thorough! It matters, that we can let God heal these very specific places that have shaped our souls, and suppressed our spirits and blocked our ability to fulfill our destiny, especially as women in this day and time. . .

    The ways we were loved imperfectly end up feeling like missing parts of a crucial foundation and praying these Brides Prayers in faith can rebuild our original God designed identity. Of course then we need the grace and will to practice as a New Woman in Christ to claim this magnificent inheritance. Jesus has given us back our true identity as women, just as He did with the women He ministered and loved no matter how traumatic their/our family or culture was and is. These prayers help me grasp this and apply it to my story.

    Wow, another puzzle piece of our authority fits in the vast big picture of New Covenant life!

    Like

  2. Jacq Wallace says:

    “So my sequence for pursuing holiness became cleansing time, land, people and then stuff”
    This had me wondering about whether there was any correlation to the four windows of reconciliation throughout the year being community, land, God and time.
    I just reread about the window of reconciliation for September in “articles” at http://www.theslg.com and it has been really helpful! I spent this morning on teacher land which has a history of reconciliation and intimacy ~ I followed your action steps sanctifying time and when I finished I felt intimacy with the Father and breath like silk in my heart…thanks so much for your heart and big contributions you make in my world. kindly jackie

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  3. Olivia says:

    I have been surrounded by manipulative, controlling people my entire life. Much of my frustration stems from the fact that in almost every situation I find myself in, it is with a control freak who will not relinquish a modicum of control for the sake of the growth of another. If I do find myself in a position of responsibility, I am amazed. Routinely, I wonder if I have the ability to pull anything off successfully. My understanding that I am smart has nothing whatsoever to do with the lack that I feel. I have felt this lack keenly at home, at work (particularly in the school system) and in church settings. Clearly, I have never been daughtered properly. I have not had the confidence that comes from successfully navigating obstacles on a regular basis. What I do have is a dogged determination to be free, even though I have no idea what that looks like. And I have the grace of understanding more and more the nature of the battle that has been waged against me since conception. I am looking forward to exploring further this half-baked potato.

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  4. Jeannie says:

    Many times I’ve been doing something with my children and think….’what was anyone thinking allowing me to have charge of these three wonderful people?’ I often feel like one of them, more than a grown woman. I thought others feel this same way, an informal poll says no!

    I have been insensed how my parents, husband and others have treated me like a child…even as I have made good choices and shown to be responsible and capable in many areas. Yet, if someone expects much from me, I think.. ‘don’t they know I can’t be trusted to pull this off?’ When I do pull it off, no one is more surprised and relieved than me.

    After reading blog and some comments– I am seeing God is surely putting His finger on an area near and dear to His heart. Thank you God!!!! Thank you Arthur for being such a attentive listener, responder and pursuer!

    I am looking forward to making an important transition, then helping others do the same.

    Like

  5. Lee-Ann says:

    Hello Arthur, I am so looking forward to our next article.

    Like

  6. Teresa says:

    what DOES it mean to be a “fullfledged daughter”?

    Are there certain characteristics that must be met on both the
    part of parents and child? Is it in the actions or attitude of either party?
    What is the role of daughter? History has long given the “impression” (?)
    that females were objects – with little or nothing to contribute to society
    only to be child bearers- housekeepers, etc
    Even as I was growing up(70’s & 80’s) the girls (3) had responsibility for the household
    chores and more while the boys (3) had far less duties and most of theirs were
    for the outside of the home…
    Scripture that addresses daughters in any context are few and far between
    So what do we base our learning on- culture? history?
    Is a daughter a female version equal with that of son?
    Is a firstborn daughter the equivilant of a firstborn son?
    I know that New Testament truths are for the Gentile as well as the Jew, that All are
    included so in today’s culture all are equal but has there been a tradition?, stigma?, expectation?
    passed down in the attitudes regarding daughters? Is it simply iniquity?

    Like

    • Arthur Burk says:

      Teresa, I am planning on basing our approach on Scripture not the culture.

      Like

      • Teresa says:

        Seems this comment was misunderstood – may I clarify….
        I was not trying to approach this by way of culture
        This comment was not intended as a statement – I was truly asking the question “what Does it mean to be a fullfledged daughter?”
        I was posing these other questions as a way of sorting it all out
        My apologies for not making that clearly written

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  7. Lisa says:

    Psalm 27:10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.

    Psalm 49: 15 Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

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    • Lisa says:

      Picking up on Dana’s comment about gender issues. I wonder how much this might be a key to the office of Daughter in the case of women between the ages of roughly 40-55; wondering if there is a strong connection between those of us affected by this issue and gender issues? – if the office of Daughter was ‘cursed’ either overtly or by not being legitimised because we were not sons; or by being raised in environments filled with misogyny and/or misandry. Is the lack of receiving the blessings of the office of Daughter, in these cases, directly linked to lack of blessing the office and/or being able/willing to RECEIVE the blessings of the office on offer from God the Father who wanted to/wants to give us the blessings regardless of the lack from earthly parents? Was this the curse released on a generation of women born/raised during the sexual revolution: the lie that we needed to augment (‘correct’) the (perceived) flaws/weaknesses inherent in our natural design so that we could (‘finally’) ‘attain’ what really mattered in life (‘have what men have’) rather than being forced/subjugated to ‘settling’ for ‘only’ what we could have (‘the less desirable things’) simply by being a woman. Was this the global assault on the office of Daughter for a generation of women: that the office (as is) must be eradicated because it is inherently flawed, doesn’t work and so must be either corrected, amended or redesigned? I heard a statement the other day: that the sexual revolution did not happen because of the men – it happened because of the women: as a generation of women proactively threw off the ‘restraints’ of modesty and chastity; the men then ‘simply’ responded to the women. — Ah – the seductive lie of the ‘victimless crime’ … who first thought of that one? … The fallout: a generation of women born into the ‘no man’s land/deserted/desolate/abandoned/cursed/closed for business’ office of Daughter; and a generation of men with no idea of their NEED for a wife.

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  8. Erina says:

    What constitutes as office…? A very good question.
    And then the matter of personhood. To me there is a difference between offices and stages of personhood. Linda calls it identity. Identity comes first. That determines how you handle the office.

    Craig Hill speaks of 7 critical times of blessing:
    1. Conception Safety of marriage, Love etc.
    2. Pregnancy Wanted, Valued, Anticipation, Spiritual growth etc.
    3. Birth Right sex: Son / Daughter, Joy, Nurture, etc.
    4. Infancy Boyhood / Girlhood, Acceptance etc.
    5. Puberty Developing manhood / womanhood, Instruction etc.
    6. Marriage / Adulthood Husband as man / Wife as woman, Maturity, Ability etc.
    7. Older age Grandfather / Grandmother; Wisdom etc.
    Blessing at these 7 times in life will result in experiencing the fullness of each stage of life.
    The blessing/cursing can come in many forms, such as words, actions, attitudes, circumstances etc. Not only a curse but a mere lack of blessing can result in false identity (accepting a lie) or lack of identity.

    Identity is something that moves into you through blessing/cursing.
    • It is a state of being inside yourself
    • that you accept and live out of
    • resulting in performing specific tasks with a certain attitude.
    Salomon was raised knowing God (Proverbs 4). He saw himself as very young when he became king (1 Kings 3:7). He felt ill prepared but his identity was established in God.
    Saul didn’t really know God and His ways (1 Samuel 9). He didn’t see himself as king (1 Samuel 10:22). He felt ill prepared. His identity was built on false values.

    Offices are something you move into through growth.
    • It is a position outside yourself
    • that you accept and move into
    • resulting from performing specific tasks with a certain attitude.
    Salomon asked God for wisdom to perform the tasks of a king (1 Kings 3:8). He grew in wisdom and became a good king.
    Saul stepped out of line and when rebuked he was more concerned about people’s opinions than God’s (1 Samuel 13). He didn’t choose to move into proper kingship. It was taken from him.

    The healing of personhood / identity is a process. We all need it in some area and to some degree. We need to seek our Father’s light, truth, healing and blessing in all areas of woundedness and lack.

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    • Arthur Burk says:

      Erina, I am glad you have life all figured out. Looks like you have a nice, neat package. Hopefully you will extend some grace to the rest of us who are a bit slower and are still exploring the subject.

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      • september says:

        You’re better than this, Arthur.

        Like

        • Megan says:

          To September:
          I don’t see Arthur’s statement as a matter of character, but an interest in keeping the blog a place for discussion. The whole point is to explore and learn, and I highly doubt anyone has such a complex topic as this all figured out.

          Liked by 1 person

          • september says:

            She contributed what she had to the topic, which is the point of blog comments. It didn’t seem to me like she was implying it was the final answer so the response seemed unnecessarily sarcastic.
            If I offered whatever knowledge I felt I had – and some of us experience incredible pain to obtain it – to someone I respected (public forum or not) and received that response, it would be the last time I bothered.

            Like

            • Arthur Burk says:

              OK September. I clearly hear that you have taken up an offense for her, but could you step around to my side of the desk for a moment?

              Let’s take it out of this discussion and use a different illustration for a moment. For a few years I was working with single women on the issue of the global spiritual issue that they are battling. I repeatedly got e-mails from individuals saying, “Well! The problem is X, Y and Z demons and what you need to do is this or that.” I found it very offensive. I wanted to write back (but didn’t) and say, “So if it is that simple, why haven’t you already done that and fixed the problem for all the single women in the world?”

              In this blog, I am often tackling topics no one else is talking about. They are almost invariably complex problems. And I am approaching them from the perspective of a learner. I am not dogmatic. I am exploratory. And I am inclusive. I work very carefully with my language to float ideas and say that from my perspective, it seems as though “this” might be a cause and “that” might be a strategy to pursue resolving a problem. I am not dogmatic about much, and I craft the presentations in such a way as to invite dialog.

              I am frankly routinely offended by the people who use the comment section to preach a sermon at me with a tone of finality. This happens on just about every other post and it is not one person but many. First of all, I often don’t agree with the logic trail or the theological frame they present, but most of all I am frustrated by the silver bullet approach and the gross over simplification of a problem with multiple layers.

              People are absolutely welcome to their opinions, even when they are wildly different from mine. You will notice I approve some pretty lame and wild and wrong stuff as long as it is framed in the context of their opinion. But when the tone changes to “this is it” I bristle.

              So I am sorry you are offended September, but people who need to state the answer need to start their own blog. When I risk opening up a can of worms which the church is broadly not willing to discuss, I appreciate the courtesy of keeping it a discussion. Tone matters a lot to me.

              Liked by 1 person

              • september says:

                I hear you.
                Thank you for making time to respond, Arthur.
                If I’ve ever been one of those people who’ve written my comments as described, then I am sorry.
                Thank you for the time you put into this blog and the insights I regularly receive here.

                Like

      • Erina says:

        Obviously I missed the point here. I apologize if the post sounded like a conclusion. It was only an attempt to summarize my current understanding of a process in my life over the last 5 years, at times wonderful and at times very painful. I’m just trying to figure out where this process fits into the bigger picture. Again, my apologies.

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  9. Dana says:

    About 5 years ago Father God gently worked three stones out of my heart, each of them a lie deeply embedded in my heart: I’d be a better wife if I were a man, I’d be a better mother if I were a man, I be a better woman if I were a man. Obviously not rational or logical :). I am a mother of 10. My youngest child is not quite 3. The first time I really felt qualified to be a mother, that I felt like “motherhood” was part of my design, that I felt validated and affirmed that what I have actually done for years was “well done”, was a couple weeks ago in Sacramento when I heard Arthur speak about offices. In that meeting, I know that I know Father placed me in the office of “mother”.

    The key here that I see was the other half of what was also happening simultaneously. Bethel church in Redding has a ministry named Sozo. One of their tools is named a Father Ladder. This correlates a persons relationship with Father God, to earthly father; with Jesus to siblings and friends, and with Holy Spirit to mother. I have had a unique and profound relationship with Father God, and with Jesus. However, I did not have any grid for Holy Spirit. I knew there is a Holy Spirit. But I had no grid, no picture, no language to relate to the Holy Spirit. A few days before Father placed me in the office of mother, I had a series of times when God met me in worship. During those times of worship, Holy Spirit came to me. He showed me the different times I’d been touched by Him, but didn’t know it was Him, and then gave me even more language and pictures by which to relate to Him. I think there is a direct correlation between the specific interfacing with Holy Spirit and with the female/ mother issues being touched. It was Father God who specifically called me mother; so I’m not saying it is Holy Spirit who heals those places. I’m just pretty sure there IS a connection, not sure what the connection is fully about though.
    I
    I also echo the thoughts about the orphan spirit. I certainly have seen many places where I have judged God for creating me to be a woman. And, of course, I’ve done alot of toxic waste cleanup around being a female in my family line. I’m thinking this isn’t just me though. I think we could begin with the assumption that pretty much all of us have gender issues to deal with generationally.

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  10. Donna says:

    When I got to the end of this post I was so gripped by it I cried. You talked about me right there in your blog!!! But the Lord filled me with hope, that an answer will come forth. He is good. I will be waiting to hear more on this.

    Like

  11. Susan Reeve says:

    How kind and generous you are to spend your time and effort on looking at the problems of women. Again you are speaking to a place where I have found myself stumbling. The verse that is hiding in my heart now is Psalm 52:6 ( Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart). I have learned so much from you and Megan on this journey and now at the right time you are addressing this issue. Thank you for your faithfulness.

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  12. Alex S says:

    Hi Arthur

    Here are some possible dots.

    As i read your note, my first thought was Genesis 2.

    God made Adam from dust & breathed life into him. God formed Eve from Adam’s rib and built her. 
    Genesis 2:22 in the Amplified says; 

    And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man He built up and made into
    a woman, and He brought her to the man. 

    Clearly the way God made the first man and made the first woman differs. I’m wondering what God did as He built up and made Eve and whether that might hold some keys for us as daughters and as women? 

    Secondly, as mentioned on a previous post re the daughter issue, I’m walking through the transition of having an orphaned human spirit. This is the fruit of not attaching to my parents properly at a very young age & manifests as Attachment Disorder, common with actual orphaned children but also common in adults who didn’t bond properly with their parents. I’m writing a paper on this as I journey through it because there are some keys for people’s release, not just my own (finally walking in the Daniel blessing!)

    So, relating that to what you’re looking at, if you miss the person phase and/or the daughter phase, then surely the state that you are left in is one of an orphan; neither a son nor a daughter? Not knowing how else to phrase it, are you looking at a problem here of orphaned daughters?

    Thirdly, I was pondering your teaching on the 7 levels of parenting and wondering how that would fit in with this situation?

    Re. your list; would male or female feature there before son and daughter?

    Alex

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  13. Debs says:

    A transformational “heart-relevation” about being and becoming “more” woman was for me, that God is not just fathering, but also mothering me (that his Fatherhood includes both of our human parents). That God is THE mother and woman, because also a woman/mother was/is created in his image. I had already experienced a lot of healing and received much confirmation as a daughter from the father’s heart. This was (and still is) very important and gives me the security of being loved, protected and cared for in “doing”. There was a great deal of restlessness left though. When God dropped his mothering love in a deep place in me (heart? spirit? ..) a foundation of deep peace was laid – to know in my innermost being that I am loved, protected and cared for in “being” too. And there I really started to embrace and enjoy being a woman and mother (i don’t have natural kids, but motherhood as a part of my identity as a woman in terms of for example being a life-bearer). I am excited and thankful for this process, so i just wanted to share:-) And maybe it gives some ideas for the daughter-discussion.

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  14. Teresa says:

    In the 12th paragraph the question is asked….”what constitutes an office and what is merely a job discription?”
    You mention that to find these parameters we have a lot of studying to do.
    I am interested in knowing where one begins studying to find these answers. Is there a pattern to find?, is it just through prayer in asking the Holy Spirit to reveal it?, etc.

    Like

  15. Julia A says:

    As I was reading this post, before I got to the end of it, I realized I was raised as a daughter (by my father at least) but was never recognized by my parents as an adult and a mother, so essentially I felt as a daughter trying to raise my four sons, like an impostor for someone who is their real mother or a babysitter. Thank you, Arthur for posting- now I can deal with this issue that I have language for!

    Like

  16. Teresa says:

    Yes, I agree that office may not be the right term, but not sure what it is either. Our woundedness is very deep and long. Sometime I wounder if there is a leak of the woundedness past down to us.Cleansing is necessary. First you must admit there is sin. There is a need for respect and honor… which equals Love right? Slavery comes to my mind Are we still just going around a mountain. I read Exodus today found great victory in Chapter 15.
    Are we just living in abandonment and abandoning the truth… Love one another. It is not so simple. Teresa

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  17. jkellythomas says:

    Wow! I absolutely get this… I am excited to get busy and pray and study on this! Our God is amazing in His perfect timing (to reveal the next step in the process, at the crucial moment).
    I am looking forward to what He continues to reveal to all who are taking on and sharing in this exploration.
    Thank you.

    Like

  18. Wendy says:

    Super excited about this! Immediately names popped in my head that would be ministered to by such teaching and healing…it must be the time! We say yes Lord!!

    Like

  19. Katharine F says:

    I always felt when I was growing up – as the eldest of four in the family – that I was neither daughter nor sister – I was ‘something’ in between. As a result of having a ‘distant’ father always working, but who would listen and talk to me when he had time, and a mother who had her issues, was ill a lot, (who I sensed was jealous of my relationship with my father and her mother actually or any relationship I had with someone who was her ‘friend’) I had to always step in to ‘mother’ the younger ones during her bouts of illnesses. She and I made peace as I nursed her during her last days in 2004 but today I have a strained relationship with my father who doesn’t know how to relate to me unless I have to nurse him while he is ill so he is nasty to me and I have a husband I cannot relate to in a marriage appropriate way after 23 years because there is a block I have searched for with much prayer and counseling. I do not know if this situation falls under your category of discussion but it feels like it just might be an answer or part of one for me.

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  20. Dianne says:

    Hi Let me just throw this in the mix. My parents were poverty struck after my grandmother(*who raised me in the first seven years)died ,leaving no-one to raise us (4) and losing the pension she added to the mix. 3 years later Mom twas offered a job . AT night with my Dad at the movie drive -ins. (you remember those?)
    I looked after my siblings 6, 3, 2 years old 6 nights a week (6pm till late) for 3 years. Now I find that its almost amazing if I get a thank you from anyone. No matter what I do, its never regarded as the extra mile. My parents never recognised me for what I did then.
    What happened ?

    Like

  21. Linda says:

    I’ve never written in anyone’s blog before, but with this subject matter, this is so near and dear to my heart, I’ve got to say something!
    I’ve been doing one-on-one personal pray ministry for about 13 years. One of the main things I’ve discovered is this is an “identity” issue. We have flawed parents and then we become flawed. But the truth and reality is, our Heavenly Father isn’t flawed at all. He’s the one who put us together and breathed life into each one of us.
    I believe we are born with the generational religious lie that we have to “earn love” and we live life out of those lies, and it brings guilt, shame, condemnation, self-rejection, self-hatred, etc. That particular lie started in the Garden when Adam & Eve were sent out of the garden to “toil”. The enemy of our soul twisted God’s intent (yet again) and whispered that now you have to earn God’s love; and it’s been like that ever since.
    Even though we teach that isn’t true, our hearts still believe and act as though it is true. I’ve learned to help others come out of agreement very specifically with the lie, and break and come out of agreement with all judgments made against our selves, against others, and even God for our inability to perform enough, do enough, be enough, etc. and then all the choices we made to “do it ourselves (a vow) and try try try, but then turn around and when we realize we’ve tried as hard as we could and still couldn’t measure up, then we made new choices to quit and give up (another vow), so we’re tug-o-warring within ourselves constantly!
    I’ve learned you need to remove the lies within the heart before putting more truth in. Otherwise we’re putting truth on top of lies and just making matters worse. Forgiving everyone involved back to Adam & Eve is another key. I’ve learned how to acknowledge & appropriate the power of the Cross, the cleansing of the Blood and take legal ground out from the enemy in our lives and in the lives of our generational bloodline backwards to Adam & Eve and forwards to 1000 generations! I command everything negative that’s been attached to the lies, judgments and vows to go away.
    But I don’t leave it at that, I then ask the Lord what does HE want me to EXCHANGE that lie for…what is HIS truth? Then we listen. Over the last 3 years almost every time the Lord has us exchange the lie for His truth: “You can’t earn something you already have. The Lord loves you and says you are His daughter (son, child)”
    At that point I always ask the Lord this question for the person’s heart’s sake: “When was the FIRST time this person was loved by you and your child?” And every time they get something like, “in the womb”, “before I was born” , “before the foundations of the earth”, or “when God thought of me”.
    So He loves us before we were created in the womb, He loves us before we ever did one thing right or wrong, He loves us before we say YES to Jesus. He already loves us (John 3:16). Jesus going to the cross validates that love He has for us. One time, Jesus said, “I wouldn’t have gone to the cross if you didn’t already have value and worth.” So, He loves us and validates that we have value and worth because we exist! It’s a very powerful thing to do! When the Spirit of Truth tells your heart truth, and when you come out of agreement from the LIE that hinders you from receiving that truth….it’s AMAZING! It’s foundational! It’s life changing!
    Another “key” I’ve discovered is to find out how our heart defines the term “LOVE”. Most of us, if we’re honest, have a heart definition of the word LOVE as something that is conditional. We do life out of our heart, so if our heart defines “LOVE” as conditional, then it blocks out fully receiving in the true LOVE, which is God Himself (I John 4:8 & 16) God is Love; and that love is UN-conditional love. So, if we’ll exchange our heart definition of Love being conditional for God’s definition of Love being God Himself, and it’s Un-conditional, we’ll have a better chance of receiving in more fully the Love God Himself wants to pour in, but can’t because we are blocking it with a flawed definition. Again, it’s life-changing.
    Does any of this make sense to you? Kind of long for your discussion.

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  22. Rebekah says:

    Mmmmmm…..This is going to be good!

    I will pray!

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  23. Kerrie says:

    Wondering if there is an office of “lover” or does that fall under wife/husband. For those of us who were abused as well as not ….
    Thank you
    Kerrie

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  24. sandra says:

    waiting and praying lord we been waiting for this and you said when mother and father deserts you you took us up so please bring us the wisdom and the paths to stability and healing thank you lord in Jesus name amen

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