We keep our Mercy interns warehoused in a different complex then the rest of the tribe. It is a Servant apartment complex where people are very open, friendly and engaging.
You would think that two Mercies in a Servant complex could stay out of trouble, but no. Not even!
We got a call from management complaining about the noise level generated by one of our Mercies, but not indicating clearly which apartment was being overly active. Serina preemptively pleaded guilty to having played music one whole day and assumed that she was malefactor in this story.
She immediately got on the web to order some sackcloth and ashes so she could repent for this travesty in proper fashion. (Being a Mercy she got hers from Nordstroms of course).
I being somewhat skeptical about her supposed antisocial behavior, asked Megan to investigate further. A phone call back to the manager netted the information that it was Mateo’s neighbor who was complaining, not Serina’s.
Furthermore the complaint is that he was walking too loudly in his upstairs apartment disturbing the people in the downstairs apartment.
Now I do weird pretty well, and I stir up a lot of weirdness, but this one is just special.
Mateo is a gymnast. He is small boned by God’s design and was quite skinny when he came to us. Today he is no longer skinny. He is scrawny. His excuse for becoming scrawny was something or another to do with not having his mother around to cook for him any longer.
As a gymnast, he is light on his feet. And the upstairs apartment is carpeted. So unless he was break dancing in the kitchen while waiting for the water to boil in the microwave, there is little reason for the people downstairs to even know they had an upstairs neighbor.
If he had been 250 pounds overweight, we could easily fix it. Genevieve makes a wicked green smoothy. Just putting one of these in front of him would scare his appetite clear into the next county for an entire week. Simple.
But since he is officially scrawny, the problem is not simple.
For starters, I immediately nicknamed him Thunderfoot to memorialize this grand adventure he is undertaking, complements of the Most High.
Second, I explained that it was most likely an AHS. Since it knows that he is there and he knows about AHS (although he has never engaged with one that I know of) the AHS is acting out in order to get attention in order to get free.
Third, I suggested that Mateo test my theory by talking to the manager and getting more details.
I was right.
Mateo’s new best friend, Thunderfoot II, AHS extraordinaire, stomps around the upstairs apartment between 10:00 and 11:00 a.m. every day, and between 11:00 and 12:00 p.m.
During the first slot, Mateo is at work. Trust me.
He is so scrawny he looks like the edge of a postcard when you look at him sideways, but enough work gets done in the region of his desk that we are reasonably sure he actually is at work.
And according to him, he is often in bed asleep by 11:00 p.m.
He shared those observations with the apartment manager. Her hard drive crashed and she asked him to go away with his inconvenient truths and to work it out with the resident below him.
So he did.
But she wasn’t home.
He, however, with that legendary Mercy stubbornness, is laying in wait and will eventually engage with her.
Our whole team is on tip toe with expectation, waiting to hear what it is like for him to explain to her that there is a 250 pound overweight AHS named Thunderfoot II that is in either his apartment or hers and it is disturbing the peace through no fault of his own.
One would assume that Thunderfoot I is going to have a long and noble career working with AHS considering the first fruits assignment The Almighty has sent him.
TO BE CONTINUED!
(All of you with a cheerleading anointing feel free to sound off in the comments and give him some moral support!)
Copyright November 2, 2013 by Arthur Burk
From the bleachers, watching someone else on the playing-field-of-weird.