Debacles, Death and Disillusionment


Imagine attending your twin brother’s funeral and meeting there the girl who would become your wife.

How would you remember that day twenty years later:  as tragic or wonderful?

I wrestle with that question of perspective as I ponder 2013.

It had its share of downers.

From beginning to end, it seemed as though I went from one debacle to another.  There were big, public humiliating debacles, and small, private humiliating debacles.

At least five deeply held dreams died a hurtful death in 2013.

Four programs that I really thought would be significantly life giving to the Kingdom of God crashed and burned, leaving wreckage and the pall of death all over the place.

Some old relationships I thought I could bank on died a deep death.  Some new ones I thought I could build on also died.

In the midst of all that other death, Dad died.

His death was filled with grace.  The others didn’t seem to be at the time, and sure don’t look that way in hind sight either.  They just look like a hard, hurtful dying.  Lots of it.

There was some disillusionment in 2013 which cut deeply.

I think back to the winter of 1962 when the first major death of innocence took place for me, during a savage winter storm.  I learned that life was not quite how I thought it was.

Since then, over the many years, a lot of strongly held beliefs have been exposed as mere myths.  Mostly beliefs about people.

We all need some heroes.  Even me.  And when our heroes turn out to have feet of clay, it is a little disillusioning.

And when God vehemently refuses to behave the way we absolutely believe He will, He must, He always does — well, that is a larger disillusionment.

And I went there too.

More than once.

In 2013.

Debacles, death and disillusionment.  DDD.  My year in three frames.

It was also the year of “Fractals of Two:  Adrenals and Kidneys.”  It began as a two bit idea in the middle of a random phone call.  It took on a life of its own and rearranged a lot of our lives.  Some amazing transformations came out of that.

And it is still as weird as a purple kangaroo playing an accordion while sitting in a palm tree in Antarctica.

Based on that revelation, our team spent a number of weeks studying the God of the covenants, instead of the covenants of God.  It was transformational.  Holy Communion will never be the same for me.

I have that album on my iPhone now.  I am going to listen to one clip every morning for the whole year.  As much change as we have seen for those who spent three months going through it once, I wonder what would land if I spent a year going deep?

It was also the year of the AHS.  And then AHS part 2.  We redefined weird.

Everyone in the office parted ways with some.  There were staggeringly large life changes for us and many others as a result of grudgingly embracing a scary, messy subject.  What I thought might be the death of the company because it was so far out there turned out to be enormously life giving around the world.

Sure wasn’t anywhere on our master plan.  It kind of just happened.  Accidentally.

My ministry model got wrecked in 2013.  I had always been the principle guy.  God sent me some exceptionally weird situations that did not respond to any of the principles I knew.  Instead, it required power which I had always respected and never had much of.

Now, a year later, grudgingly, I have a whole lot more power and authority than I did back then.  Something else that didn’t make it onto the master plan last year.

My time with the King in December of 2012 was spent in the Teacher city of Amman, Jordan.  It does a billion dollars a year in medical tourism, servicing Africa and the Middle East.  God talked to me there about SLG and health research in 2013.

I was so naïve.  I heard everything He said and heard nothing at all.

A year later, we have a remarkable fractal for the brain.  We know how to use the EAV machine to identify Leviathan or AHS in specific lobes of the brain.  We have seen some stunningly transformed lives as a result.

We cracked the code for the Parietal Lobe/Cerebellum dynamic that causes so much distress between mothers and daughters.

We have started work on the heart and now know that the fractal of four is 3 + 1:  the Trinity plus the Kingdom.

Huge revelation.  Staggering implications for heart treatment.

And for daily life as a Noble Subject.

In 2013 the Birthright teaching accidentally happened.  I was going to record three or four clips for YouTube.  It ended up being 63 clips.  Who knew all that was rattling around in me?  Not me, I can assure you.  That wasn’t in our master plan for the year either.

It sure was informational listening to what came out of my mouth that I didn’t know about until then.

It was the year I recorded and released “An MRI of Fathering.”  It has been a huge yawn for the world at large.  Not a single person has even bothered to write a review on our website for that product, and only one person reviewed it on Amazon.

But I don’t really care if no one likes it, because I think it is one of the best things I did last year.  It was well aged wine, a deeply lived life message, solid wisdom that can transform individuals, families and businesses.

The world’s disinterest doesn’t diminish my joy in having expressed what was on my heart with clarity and force.

(Well, maybe a little).

I flew 110,000 miles and walked long miles on land that was healing things deep inside me.  I also walked long miles in warfare and read about it in the paper days later.  Profound.

The industrial complex where we rent was sold.  We rejoiced to be out from under the old landlord.  The new one appears to be twice as bad.

So that was my 2013.

Ugly.

Hurtful.

Deeply damaging.

Astounding.

I was touched by God.

The year was full of profound revelation much of which I didn’t work for.

Growth.

Healing.

For me, the team and many others.

It has been a wild ride.  Glad I get to trade this one in.

But I have no assurance that 2014 will be any more mellow.

Copyright December 31, 2013 by Arthur Burk

From home.

Feeling slightly melancholy

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33 Responses to Debacles, Death and Disillusionment

  1. 1haadon says:

    Hmmm…with all that took place how can I hit the like tab :-/….but Yes, thank you Father for Arthur and the group of 2013! May your continued presence, wisdom, and peace shine within 2014.
    Mary S.

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  2. Claudette says:

    I can relate to what Carla says. It is so close to what I think. My friend Lee and I have been following you for a few years now and have many your of teachings and have been following your blog. When we read this one she said “Oh my, I just wanted to put my arms around Arthur and hug him because she felt your words and then we both laughed out loud for even thinking that would help you. BUT we do know how to pray and we appreciate you so much and the gifts that God has given you that you are willing to share that you can count on us to be on the list for this next year for whatever you want prayer for. Blessings to you and your family and all who work with you.

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    • SLG says:

      Thanks so much Claudette. It is interesting to meet many of you who have been there, but have been silent for a long time. Nice to know you are there. I have written the first blessing and it is at Sandy’s to be proofed. She will make it life on Saturday night late, so everyone will have it on Sunday morning. Lean into it.

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  3. Rosa says:

    This post made me sorta sad …some of it I can relate to. I wish I could write about my own 2013 with such clarity.And it brought to mind something in my inbox this morning by Henry Nouwen…”Joy and sorrow are never separated. When our hearts rejoice at a spectacular view, we may miss our friends who cannot see it,and when we are overwhelmed with grief, we may discover what true friendship is all about. Joy is hidden in sorrow, and sorrow in joy. If we try to avoid sorrow at all costs, we may never experience joy, and if we are suspicious of ecstasy, agony can never reach us either. Joy and sorrow are the parents of our spiritual growth.”

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    • SLG says:

      Thanks Rosa. Henry was the first male Mercy I discovered, long before I knew the redemptive gifts, and I was captured by the different tone of his writings. It has been a while since any of his pithy ponderings has crossed my desk.

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  4. Irina Rivera says:

    I want to respond before I read anyone’s comments – you know, when you don’t want to be influenced by anything? I hear your melancholy – not overly weighty, but real. I appreciate you adding the surprises, especially how Holy Communion is changed for you forever. I wonder if I could ask you more about that…but regardless, it was a big year of loss for you. My own year was the strangest I’ve ever had. Some melancholy, but more strength than anything. Thank you for your honest sharing, and humor, as always.

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  5. Carla Porter says:

    I thank God for you. Many times (most/all the times) the ‘weirdness’ was so over my head, but I didn’t care. I’ve learned to trust that God knew what he was doing when he made you! After one particular weird thing, I just laughed (with God I think) over how special you are and how God can trust you to trust him no matter how strange the places He leads you to and then says, “Go!” Thank you for willing to, “Go,” whether or not I get it, or whether or not it makes me feel uncomfortable. Your example is helping me to brave exposing some of my own weirdness with God to others.

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  6. don hank says:

    Hello Arthur and thanks also for the honesty. Spare the details, but it helps me this morning. Similarly had some death (quite a bit less) this year. And also life; Major physical healing from your fractal help, and healed from not being seen. (Also connected to your help). I could go on and on but, Shalom to you and your Spirit!

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  7. Christie says:

    When I first heard one of your albums back in 2010, it saved me from serious consideration of suicide. Although I have never met you in person, you have touched my life more than anyone I know (outside of my immediate family). I genuinely appreciate the lifeline you gave me and my walk with God has become much more real since I stumbled across your insights. Thank you and bless you.

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  8. YoursTrulyMin says:

    I have to say I’m thankful for your transparency. I felt as if my friend and I were the only ones who struggled in 2013. I know all that was gained in authority thru the trails was well earned. Blessings to you and your wonderful team.

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  9. snoopsparky says:

    Although your post today is melancholy as you say, it managed to yank me out of a deep funk. Feeling alone and failing from a year of what turns out to be mostly correction ending with deeper correction. And wondering why my Father appears to be in hiding today, I’m screaming for a serious new revelation of Father’s love so I can understand why this is sooo important. After more than a year in a new location, relationships are typically a huge amount of investment with meager returns, so I’m feeling tired. 2013 saw the beginning of a much-needed death to self that will hopefully turn toward resurrection someday soon; maybe when I’m actually dead to this stuff that I think is so valuable.
    So why was your post suddenly encouraging? It reminded me that I’m not alone in the crucible and it got my thoughts off of myself just long enough to see His handiwork. It’s always good. I just seem to go blind and forgetful on occasion. Now I can move on. It doesn’t matter; He will be there.
    Jim

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  10. Jude says:

    Empathize with you and appreciate your transparency. We all need that lesson. After the big squeeze comes the new wine. Be encouraged and renewed in rest. You are a person of great value and we hold up your arms.

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  11. Roxanne Myron says:

    Dearest Arthur
    Thanks for hanging in there. We have such great role model in you ( wanting to be like you when I grow up).
    Lots of ♡ from your countless sons and daughters.
    Blessed New year.

    Like

  12. RussF says:

    Thank you Arthur for sharing your heart as well as reviewing the year. As one can already read in the responses; there are many who love and deeply appreciate you and the team at SLG. Having listened to your talks and read your blogs, we feel like we “know” you. And we see things very differently than we would have without your research and “reality check” approach to life.

    We may be tempted to try to “comfort” you with several “at least” or “silver lining” statements, but as this wonderful short animation (link below) shows – that approach really doesn’t help. Connection, truly “being with” is what makes a difference for our hearts. Arthur, may you experience our hearts and spirits leaning towards you today….

    http://www.thersa.org/events/rsashorts/the-power-of-empathy

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  13. Sarah says:

    Thank you so much for posting this. As part of a church culture that is very deeply in denial about ourselves and about the world around us to the point where we are not effective in the world, it is incredibly helpful to read the truth about the Christian life lived with great depth and honesty.

    Like

    • SLG says:

      You are welcome, Sarah. And I agree — honest conversation is one of the most scarce resources on planet earth. I find myself starving for a vigorous exploration of reality, without having to take into account the other person’s biases, bruises and blind spots. It is almost impossible to find people willing to explore life without denial or rejection of what they find.

      Like

  14. Bryan says:

    Just some thoughts from a heartrending distance. “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains alone…” What if this realm, in the vision of the tree, is like the roots, the veil is ground level, and the tree of life with the real fruit is in the realm of the Spirit? Or as the roots being the tree of knowledge, a photo negative of the tree of life, each branching out and experiencing of new pain and challenge is as a fractal emergence blooming? The more completely we fall back to the zero point in release, “retuning”, the greater the expansion of new fractals into even deeper, harder ground, and the quicker we release the disappointment and demand that it has to manifest in something visible here, the greater He becomes on His terms of expansion. That embracing fractures creates fractals, weaving the eternal tapestry. That as we fall, He yet manifests here, and there is glory in counting it all loss, whatever comes. Believing so and in your eternal fruit.

    Like

  15. Maureen says:

    😦 🙂 (((Arthur)))

    Like

  16. Paul S. says:

    Arthur, as I read this post, I was reminded of the Apostle Paul who said that “death worketh in me, but life in you!” I believe that all that you’ve experienced this past year has been God’s instrument working death in you, so that greater life can come forth from you…and it is apparent that it has been a year of great increase and blessing through you to the Kingdom. Thank you for your faithfulness in continuing to press into God and allow Him to make you His choice servant. Great blessings to you in this New Year!

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  17. valynda says:

    Thanks so much Arthur for continuing onward. I like so many others are deeply appreciative of you, what you do as well as what you give. I ask the Lord to fill you with His mighty glorious strength, so you can keep going on, no matter what happens, always full of joy of the Lord. (My most favorite verse. Col 1:11, The Living Bible)

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  18. kevinleichty says:

    I have been so blessed by the teaching that God has released through you! It is really out there, so different but so needed and important! And the more I listen the more it makes sense! Just this weekend I listened to Unstoppable Joy and was blown away by the revelation God gave me, so much to learn and process but I am determined to be as free as I can be and pass it on. I want to get the AHS teaching. What is the name of the teaching on Parietal Lobe/Cerebellum dynamic? Thanks for being so transparent and putting out there what God is doing! May you and your loved ones be blessed with an amazing year! Thanks!

    Like

  19. LL says:

    Hi Arthur – thank you for sharing so deeply about 2013. There are many that feel the same in many ways about some or all of their circumstances, I know, including me. The words that the Lord has put on my heart are: Isaiah 53:2-4 and also the picture of an instrument: which, no matter how good, how well played, how oft played, still needs tuning (fine tuning) each time it is played. “The LORD bless you, and keep you; The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace.” (Num 6:25)

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  20. Linda says:

    sorry to hear about your dad Arthur

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  21. curtis says:

    Thanks for sharing your heart. You are changing the world.

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  22. LaVonne says:

    That was said so well by Heidi above, thank you. Thank you Arthur for sharing the year and the amazing things that were flowing from the Father to you and team and out to us.. Your vulnerability and openness is a gift and this post so encourages me and I appreciate it. It is a blessing and will continue to be. God’s Holy Presence surround you and your business and team and touch you and all of you tonight and this coming year.
    .

    Like

  23. katemazur says:

    I feel ya. Some things stink while others are grand. The ups and downs are grueling. I’m ending 2013 on a good note because of you & choosing to celebrate the great moments, yet I can feel the melancholy of loss roll at me with pretty impressive strength, too. *sigh* Time for some good music and a nice long stroll. Too bad it was 9 degrees here today. I’ll have to stroll around in my mind cuz I’m NOT going out side!

    For what it’s worth, I think your MRI stuff was REALLY good. I’m surprised there aren’t more who are onto it yet but I suppose it’s probably a time thing. Or timing. I still can’t keep the two straight. Remember, you’re about a decade a head of the rest of us. We’ll catch up. Sorry you don’t have more companionship in the mean time. Maybe you wouldn’t want it anyway.

    Much of what you’ve put out in 2013 is still unknown to me, but I’m eager to dive in. What you worked so hard on this past year REALLY MATTERS to the King and to us, even though wading through it is hard work on both ends.

    YOU matter, too Arthur, and that should cheer you. It’s not just your goods that’s making a difference; it’s YOU. You’re reaching into people who REALLY need you, and you’re altering things -for eternity.

    I bless your spirit to rest and to catch up with yourself. If you haven’t already, roll around in the dirt with the King, mourn the losses & mutter a LOT about how unnecessary they were. Then remember to celebrate the good stuff and party hard.

    You gave a lot of life this year…make sure you take an extra nap or two, okay? 🙂
    ~Grateful K8

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  24. Kay Kalda says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Any loss of a person close to us is difficult, but there is something in the Spirit with the loss of a parent. I think it especially hard if they really were a parent. I only know that loss from the point of view of loss. I hope you get to see it differently. From the point of view of what you had. Hugs Aurthur.

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  25. jimalseth says:

    Thanks for the honesty of that Arthur, (as I sit at the computer on my New Years Eve shift at the hospital–which has been nuts). Glad to sit down for a minute and read your thoughts.

    I can say I’ve been touched significantly through much of what has happened at Sapphire in 2013. Regarding the fractal of two, the Chronic Fatigue Study is still going, and personally I’m starting my 4th round of these blessings.

    Let’s buckle our seatbelts for 2014, in the name of the King!

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  26. Heidi Colquhoun says:

    I just want you to know, that I respect, admire, and bless you. I can’t always afford to get the new stuff you are doing, but I do intend to… gradually. If words can be a hug, then let these words hug you, bless you, and inspire you. I pray this new year will find you in the center of Gods wild imagination and loving arms. Bless you Arthur, and your team. I will continue to pray for you and your business in 2014. Keep up the GREAT work.

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    • Shirley says:

      Can I just say amen to all of that! Arthur you are a great blessing and are being used to bless many more than you know. Just keep following our King and sharing what He is doing and none of us know how greatly He will use that!! You are greatly appreciated!

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