It is hard to know how to rate this week.
On the feeling level it was like being a goldfish in a blender. I can’t remember a recent week when I was on overload so much of the time. The purely physical workload pushed me very hard.
The emotional impact of so many people pulling on me so consistently most of the week was challenging. And the ever changing spiritual climate throughout the week kept me off my pace most of the time.
Spiritually, it was quite the paradox. There didn’t seem to be a single moment of intimacy with God or the team during the week, yet as we did warfare on sundry levels, I was the go-to man with perspective, insight and strategy. Your light prayers certainly packed a punch in terms of my being able to sort out the path to freedom for a number of people. The e-mails were zinging all week.
Functionally, we ended the week in a good place. There were some big projects we had committed to for the week, and we got them done by 4:00 on Friday. We will be able to refocus on Monday which is a good thing. I sure don’t know how we managed to do the projects we did with the wild nature of the week. Amazing provision from God. It wasn’t fun or elegant, but at the end of the day, He empowered us to persevere and get stuff done.
Spiritually it was one of the most intensely productive that I can remember. The breakthroughs in my life from last Saturday have held solidly and been reaffirmed by the Lord in measurable, verifiable ways, and we are sure the breakthrough will be sustained. (Can it really be only six days ago? Feels like six months! Sigh.) And that is just my story.
In my personal circles, at least five other people had life changing positive lurches this week. Any one of them would have been enough to celebrate for a whole week. Five in a week is far beyond our norm.
On a global level, there seems to have been some significant impact from some of the observations I posted on Facebook this week. I can’t really measure the depth of impact or the number of people changed, but there certainly was more than just idle chatter going on with our Facebook crowd this week.
At the same time, there have been some gut wrenching setbacks for some of our friends. From spiritual life, to relationships, to health, to finances, some people have gotten rocked hard this week, and I wept with them. It hurts any time, but there is a cruelty to it when you get taken down while lots of people around you are having stunning breakthroughs.
The devil swiftly pounces on those moments and tries to make it an essence issue. “If it works for everyone else, but not for you, surely there is something dreadfully wrong with how you are put together.” I have stood alongside some bleeding friends and fought that lie, but it is still brutal to have no explanation for why you are going down in flames in the midst of a global celebration.
So it is now Friday night. I am so played out that there isn’t even joy over the good in the week. I write the words and replay the tapes, and my mind verifies that it was a spectacular week for many. My soul simply says, “Yeah.”
My soul also struggles with the connection between this week’s light prayer and my life. You asked that the light of God would shine more forcefully on my spirit, so that the light in my spirit could relieve darkness more effectively in other people.
Your prayers were answered. My spirit was intense and impacted other people’s spirits more than I usually do.
And I have no place for that on my shelf of life experiences.
God came to me and calmly raised the wattage of my spirit in a week’s time just because you prayed? Just like that?
So what’s up with my soul struggling with that reality? Do I write these light prayers but don’t believe them and they impact me deeply because you believe them? How can this be?
And what happens next? Did God up the wattage permanently because of so many of you praying, or will I find out next week that this was just a brief bump up and I will be back to the baseline for me?
I feel a little bit cheated that I did not get to feel much joy this week. I am so passionate and so gifted at partying with people about the things God has done. And this week the blender kept me swimming madly with barely a nod in the direction of stupendous breakthrough for people I dearly love.
That bugs me. I hope this is a quiet weekend and I can circle back around and do some savoring.
Friday afternoon about 4:15, it felt like the blender was turned off. Whatever was churning and clashing in the heavenlies settled out and it feels solidly like a victory for the King. I wonder what it was all about. Seems that it was a lot bigger than my little world.
I am so looking forward to next week. We are starting in a good place. And the light prayer for next week is one that touches a really deep place in me. I hope you can drive this one hard and long and deep.
Thanks for investing in my world. I pray there was light and life for you as well.
Copyright March 2014 by Arthur Burk
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