This week was hugely busy in the midst of recovering from the jet lag. I have gotten pretty good at working through it with grace but certainly have not discovered any shortcuts.
But a week later, I am back to a solid sleep schedule and my body has forgiven me once again for violating the science of the body by flying, which perhaps man was not really designed to do. There is much to be said for walking everywhere. Having grown up in a pedestrian society, I have a bunch of first hand data on both lifestyles.
In terms of work for the week, there are two things to report. First, the dominion in ministry continues very high. I had requested prayer some time ago for four individuals. Two got substantial release that week, but the couple actually went backward with intensity since then. It has been very painful to watch. Everything I did simply bounced.
Finally, this week one thing I did landed, and we made some measurable progress. This is very exciting. Please continue to pray for Fred and Sally and my insight into their riddle.
In terms of my new and improved brain or spirit/brain partnership, there is nothing to report. On the one hand, I can blame it on the jet lag and say nothing about my body was sizzling this week. On the other hand, it might be weeks down the road before I can look back and see the pattern and say, “Ah ha!” THAT is what happened at Heathrow.
The specific punch line of the prayer last week was “Pray that I will see clearly how to reframe my responses to life old/new convolutions.”
We have a no-go there.
I have a high sense of urgency to revisit several areas of my life and ministry to see them through a different grid. Some are highly fluid areas (like the business), and some are quite static (like a couple of relationships that have been awkward for a long time).
I have spent a fair amount of time this week circling around those issues seeing nothing new. Nonetheless, the urgency is high, so I have set apart this three day weekend for that purpose. With the exception of a couple of brief social events, I am spending the bulk of the three days with the Lord alternating between filling my thinking wall with scribbles and lying on the couch listening to the Spirit.
So far, (early Saturday afternoon) I have some scribbles and almost none of the Elbow of God.
The weekend is far from over.
One other factor from the week that I am watching closely is an emotion of sadness. I am no stranger to that one, but this feels like it is sadness in a different key of music. I initially wondered if it was an old wound that had scabbed over but not healed and God was accessing it to resolve it. Didn’t seem to land although I looked in that direction for two days.
I often feel sadness a day or two before someone attacks me, as my spirit senses something is coming. That is still on the table as an option. I find myself slightly hesitant to open e-mails wondering which one will have the IED embedded in it because I have been down that road so often.
But I think possibly this time God is connecting me with pain that is not mine. I have wondered whether it is pain from the culture, or the land or His heart. Or all the above.
When I was out of the country recently, I was in a city with a high suicide rate. It is a very prosperous, famous Mercy city with lots of suicide at one specific place. The suicides are not primarily by the down and out group. Mostly they are people who have a lot going for them on the outside, but they are devoured by the barrenness and futility that marks the Ammonite Curse on a Mercy city.
I was deeply moved by that grim expression of the Ammonite Curse as I walk in such deep fulfillment.
Our bedrock maxim for land is “God was there first.” Under the stain of so much bloodshed, there is a gift of God. Always. I am wondering what it would be like for me to go to that piece of land and record blessings for those who are struggling broadly with futility and specifically with suicide.
I ponder the last year as I parted ways with a number of AHS and had an intense immersion in the fractal of four as seen in the human heart. I wonder if all of this was preparation for a frontal assault on the spirit of suicide, beginning with blessings from THAT piece of land.
Is this the sadness I am feeling?
Not sure yet, but I do know I like the idea of redeeming that land with some blessings that would come from a really deep place in me.
Copyright May 2014 by Arthur Burk
From the Hub