27. Giver Prayer: Receiving Joy

My wife loves extended family connections.  For a while we attended a church of largely El Salvadorians with large extended, cross-pollinated families.  It meant the world to her to find out that Sabina’s brother-in-law on her husband’s side was the nephew of Fernando’s aunt’s cousin, who married the engineer from Cochabamba in Bolivia.

My eyes glazed over long before we got to Bolivia.  After cousins, they are all shirttail relatives to me.  To Ann, the most remote shirttail relative is a treasure to be savored and celebrated — and understood so the trail of connectedness could be explained.

What makes Ann find joy in unraveling complex genealogies?


This is the imprint of God’s nature on her that He did not imprint on me.  Ann is actually related to every single person in the world through both Adam and Noah.  God can bring up all seven billion people and from memory recite accurately how Ann is related to the owner of the Upper Room in Jerusalem, as well as to Genghis Khan.

That is a facet of God that He chose to place in her for her joy.  He chose not to place it in me, therefore I don’t find joy in pondering how Ann is related to both Esther and Haman.

Each Giver has some capacities for joy embedded into their DNA by God, so that they can experience immense joy together with the God that originated that joy.

Tragically, most people, Givers and the rest of us, have a potential that they do not know about.  We are like the ugly duckling who absorbed the disdain of the community early and  accepted that this was reality.

The duckling became a swan but still had no joy until it SAW what had been there all along.  Then joy came.

This is an exercise that needs to be done with people’s spirit.  You should do it with every portion of the spirit but especially the Giver portion since we all have all seven redemptive gifts expressed in our spirit.

I did this recently with the Servant portion of someone’s spirit.  What I did was hold up pictures to see where the Servant felt a spark, and then directed them to refine the picture on their own.

I knew going in that Servant loved restoring land.  Because that picture was so clear, Servant (and those around Servant) had never looked further.

I asked about clothes.  We went through different kinds of clothes and what stood out was gloves.  I sent Servant to the web to look at everything from cutesy gardening gloves to expensive Italian leather motorcycle gloves.  She doesn’t have land to garden in or a motorcycle to ride, but she can look at the pictures and recognize what fits her and brings her joy.

I went to weather and asked Servant to explore different kinds of weather and see whether she likes the beginning, middle or end.  I explained that with rain, I like the beginning.  I love watching a rainstorm come across an open plain and finally pounce on the house where I am.  With snow, I love the after.  Waking up in the morning to a world of white with not a tiny scar in the perfection of the surface is special.

I told Servant to make a list of all kinds of weather and figure out what she liked and whether it was beginning, middle or end.

We went through her house, room by room to see what was “hers.”

We talked about colors and found the one that landed with her.  I encouraged her to get on the web and look at fabric, paint, nature, cars, glass, gemstones, bird feathers and anything else she could think of until she found her exact shade of her color.

I went through all of the “toys” in the home.  Turns out Servant was most interested in the camera.  So I asked whether her joy would come from the macro or the micro.  She didn’t know.  So I illustrated it.

“Would you like to go up on a high mountain and take a picture of a grand vista, or would you like to capture one drop of dew on a spiderweb.  She came alive with the small stuff.

Step by step I put pictures in front of the Servant portion of her spirit.  The Servant rather effortlessly discarded most and grabbed a hold of a few.  I gave her nothing.  All of those joy-points had come from God, originally.  I just helped her find them.

And when I talked to her a day later, she had barely begun to do all the homework I gave her, but just knowing that she was designed to feel joy in those areas had changed her whole personality.

At the end of the day, God has wired each Giver with a wide diversity of joy points. Generally the culture cannot be bothered to discover and unpack the God-given capacities for joy in a Giver.

Therefore, it behooves those around the Giver to do the simple exercise of holding up straw men in areas the Giver has never considered, to find out what their treasures are.

We, the non-Givers, owe it to ourselves to help the swans in our midst to see the reflection of their beauty in a way that transforms their self-image and their connection with God.

The joys that the Giver learned from the culture are many, but they are cheap and tawdry compared to the joy that God imprinted on their DNA at conception.  Let’s move from good to great and massively enrich the SLG tribe through unleashing the joy potential of the Givers in our midst.

27.  Giver Prayer:  Receiving Joy  Accessing Intimacy with God Noble Subject blog

Copyright May 2016 by Arthur Burk

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4 Responses to 27. Giver Prayer: Receiving Joy

  1. linzi says:

    Dear Arthur, I love this beautiful revelation you have shared with us. What a tool to use for all those whom we love, but especially my precious Giver friend. I have been praying for the Fruit of Joy for her. I think this principle you have uncovered could bring Joy to any one of the Redemptive Gift types.
    Like your precious wife I experience great joy when the Lord connects me with Spanish speaking people. In fact I think I must have some Spanish genes in my DNA. I am just reminded that it was when I spent three months in Spain in 2003 on assignment that I broke through into Joy, something I had been seeking from the Lord for a long time. Thank you once again for your unique insights.

  2. Janis Leal says:

    I just love this… to awaken another’s joy, for the Lord to unleash yet undiscovered and unseen colors of joy, etc., etc.. AMEN. “…the kingdom of God is… [a matter of] righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.” (Rom. 14:17) Give us what it takes, Lord, to see and do, to reveal and awaken, to spark the Light of Life in others, and do it in us – for Your own joy, that Your joy may be full, that we may be “filled with all the fullness” of You.

  3. Devorah R.G says:

    What a beautiful depiction of the personhood process! I just realized that I like the middle of the rain experience. The sound of a steady downpour that is here to stay a while lets the music of falling water slowly saturate through the layers of my being. Thank you for helping me language that!

  4. Francois says:

    One of my obvious joy points is your sense of humour Arthur, took me a while to compose myself after the mirth of ‘Genghis Khan’!
    As a giver, one of my joys is texture. My wife loves the wide outdoors and as she soaks in the vista I am enraptured by the texture of the moss on the stone or the varied textures of bark on trees or the leaves of the ground covers. Oh yes, and if there is the sound of water added as a special effect…I’ve been raptured!
    Thanks for the challenge to use god the Google to discover more joys.

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